what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
