Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
