im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
