So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
