I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
