just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
