Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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