I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
