dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
