That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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