Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
