I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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