I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
