Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
