He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Randomize
