Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
