oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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