I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
