Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
