it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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