Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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