Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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