He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
