First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
