So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
