Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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