I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
