I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
