the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
