I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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