What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
