In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
the day after is always just damage control
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize