She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
