His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
