do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
