S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
