there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
