Don't you send me to vm
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
