He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
