I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I didn't notice because vodka
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
