my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
how drunk are you?
Several
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
