a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
