He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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