Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
