So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
