Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
