Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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