Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
In America we eat man semen.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
