STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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