all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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