she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
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