just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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