Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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