carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
