Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I intend to get homeless drunk
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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